You Are In Control
by: Hannah Dearth
I like to think I am mostly uplifting, and that people see me as a believer of Jesus with a big faith. That, for the most part, I am seen as someone who lifts others up... they can count on me to help them out or show up. I appear to, and usually do, have a lot of different things in life organized and scheduled intentionally.
However, all of these things don’t alter my anxiety completely. It doesn’t mean because the outside seems okay, that internally I am not still struggling at times. It is still very real and very present.
I share this because I imagine we are reaching a peak with anxiety across the board due to the changes we are experiencing, and I wanted to be transparent about it. It’s hard to talk about, or even face for that matter.
I feel like, if I share, people will think I don’t practice what I preach. I don’t trust God. People will feel like I just help out because I feel I have to or some other burden like that. People will think I am less capable or fake because I can be one way on the outside, but I'm battling these thoughts on the inside.
I have to remind myself that none of those things are true. Please, do the same for yourself.
I have anxiety, but I am not anxiety. Anxiety doesn’t make me less of a person. I do have faith, and coping skills, and wonderful support, but I still struggle sometimes. That is okay. I am not “damaged” because my brain goes there. It impacts me physically, mentally, relationally, emotionally, and spiritually...but it is not all of me.
Your worries are so valid, whatever they may be. Your thoughts and concerns and feelings in your body should be addressed and heard and worked through, but they should not take control.
You are in control.
You aren’t alone, and you are doing great.
Hang in there!